Few of the Pagans I have known were born into a Pagan family. Most were born and raised in the religion of their family and chose Paganism later in life. The reasons that people choose Paganism as a religious path are many but a strong influence is the desire to escape from a spiritually controlling religious structure. Many traditional religions have a strong orthodoxy that is taught to all their members and questioning these religious tenets is often frowned upon. Religious services are led or controlled by one person whose primary purpose is to tell you how to believe and act within the established orthodoxy. Variations in the formula are rarely allowed. Those who fall outside the structure's control are considered spiritually inferior or worse, are condemned. A considerable amount of energy can be spent by those within the religion to fight conflicting beliefs and activities practiced by others.
It is very easy to understand why someone with a free spirit and an open mind might wish to escape this trap. Why, then, do some run away from such a controlling structure only to run full bore and with arms open wide into yet another controlling structure? Why do we jump from a sizzling frying pan into a hot cauldron?

The controlling structure of some Pagan organizations can sometimes differ little from those of traditional religions. Covens or other groups who are led by a few leaders that demand complete allegiance, require all members to think the same way, and encourage their members to belittle and bully those who disagree in thought or practice are no different than ministers and preachers in traditional religions who do the same. Why would someone go from one oppressive situation only to move to another? I think there are at least two reasons: because it is easier to be told what to think, say, or do than it is to find the time and energy to do that for ourselves; and because we, as social beings, crave the confirmation of a group and a leader. Neither of these things is inherently wrong. Whenever you read a book, an article, or an essay (like you are doing now), you agree to listen to an opinion or a particular presentation of ideas or information. A writer or teacher might even explain how a certain thing can be done and you may agree to give it a try. Temporarily suspending your own opinions and ways of doing things is how you learn new perspectives and means. In the same manner, being part of a group of people with similar beliefs and practices is not, by itself, a bad thing. The question comes down to what is being taught, what is expected of the learner, and how these things are then incorporated into someone's life.

To me, it comes down to a question of harm. In order to prevent being caught moving from one troubling structure to another requires considering whether what is being taught and what is being expected does not cause harm to the self or to others and by harm I do not mean just physical pain. Harm can be caused by mental, emotional, and spiritual anguish. Before joining any religious organization, regardless of theology, I suggest that one first consider personal values and ethics. Take some time to think about what is most important to you in terms of how you feel you should treat people and how others should treat you. Create a set of boundaries both personal and philosophical. Ask yourself: What are the things that are completely unacceptable to you? What actions taken against others are wrong? At what point will you know that something is wrong regardless of what others say? When you enter an organization, do it with your eyes, mind, and heart wide open. Be ready to draw the line and change course if you find that your boundaries have been crossed. Trust your intuition, your heart, and your body to tell you as you go whether or not you are on the right path. By all means, take a leap of faith but look to where you are jumping.