Grimoires

Counseling Techniques

• steps to advising
• individual
• skills for negative behavior
• crisis advising
• couples advising
• mediation
• tools of advising

Ritual Techniques

• Basic Techniques
• Techniques of Theater
• Techniques of Music and Dance
• Group Techniques

Group Techniques

• dealing with conflict
• Steps In Conflict Resolution
• typical concerns and fears
• common group challenges
• planning a group
• class format
• coven format
• ways in which groups are helpful

Communication Techniques

• Public Speaking
• Speaking to the Media

Steps To Advising

• 1. Preview

• A. Ask for a brief general explanation of the situation
• B. Assess if you are truly capable of helping
• C. Express your limits
• D. Offer other alternatives or people to see
• E. Prepare yourself to listen intently
• F. Set out your goals and procedures
• G. Confirm your confidentiality within legal and moral limits
• H. Use psychic abilities only with permission.

• 2. Discussion

  Use the principles of the Wiccan Rede and the Five Elements of the Pentagram as tools to clarify the situation and find possible solutions.

• 3. The Review
  • A. Review what has been learned
  • B. Review the solutions and goals to be enacted
  • C. Help the person see a solution through
  • D. Encourage independence - help them to not need you
  • E. Ground

   

• I. Preparation - Establish a private, safe, and sacred environment.
  • 1. Establish trust and safety.
  • 2. Establish confidentiality.
  • 3. Define your limits to confidentiality
  • 4. Create and consecrate a sacred space
• II. Preview

• A. Ask for a brief general explanation of the situation.
• B. Assess if you are truly capable of helping.
• C. Express your limits.
• D. Offer other alternatives or people to see, if necessary.
• E. Confirm your confidentiality within legal and moral limits.
• F. Ask permission to use psychic abilities.
• G. Set out your goals and procedures.
• H. Choose a tarot spread related to the situation and set out the
  cards in your particular style.

• III. Discussion

  A. Listen

  1. Adopt a listening mudra and position.

  2. Develop empathy.

  3. Treat the session as an act of magic.

  4. Read body language

  5. Use your intuition and other abilities

  B. Let them know you are listening

  1. Offer small encouragements as you listen.

  2. Paraphrase what has been said.

  3. Summarize what you heard.

  C. Ask questions

• 1. Ask questions only to clarify situations.
• 2. Avoid yes/no questions.
• 3. Do not insist on answers.
• 4. Let the client guide him or herself to solutions.
• 5. Follow the client’s lead.

• D. Define the problem
  • 1. Define and honor the feelings involved
  • 2. Determine a range of possible solutions
  • 3. Have the client work toward a goal.

    a. Make the goals specific

    b. Make the goals realistic

    c. Make the goals relevant

    d. Negotiate the goals together

IV. The Review

• A. Review what has been learned
• B. Review the solutions and goals to be enacted
• C. Ground

 

Skills for Negative Behavior

• monitoring trouble signals
• the breath
• muscle tension
• mental shutdown
• learn how to relax
• any of the above triggers suggests it is time to relax
• communication
• how to effectively express yourself
• how to listen
• protection

Crisis Advising

• I. Crises develop in four stages:

  • A. A situation occurs which threatens normal coping mechanisms
  • B. Increasing tension escalates beyond the threshold of coping
  • C. A demand for additional resources is needed
  • D. Major personality disorganization
• II. All crisis situations have these features:

• A. Crisis is self limiting
• B. Within 1 - 5 weeks major change will occur depending on help received
• C. People are more willing to accept help during this time
• D. Help and acceptance must come within a short time of the crisis
• III. Steps involved in crisis:

• A. Ensure safety (without threatening personal safety)
• B. Define the problem
• C. Provide primary support
• D. Examine alternatives
• E. Make plans
• F. Obtain commitments

 

• IV. Common emotional responses to crisis:

• A. Guilt
• B. Confusion
• C. Loss of self worth
• D. Numbness
• E. Anxiety

 

• I. Preparation - Establish a private, safe, and sacred environment.

• 1. Establish trust and safety with both partners (no favorites)
• 2. Establish confidentiality.
• 3. Define your limits to confidentiality.
• 4. Create and consecrate a sacred space.

II. Preview

• A. Ask for a brief general explanation of the situation.
• B. Assess if you are truly capable of helping.
• C. Express your limits.
• D. Offer other alternatives or people to see, if necessary.
• E. Confirm your confidentiality within legal and moral limits.
• F. Ask permission to use psychic abilities.
• G. Set out your goals and procedures.
• H. Require the couple to take turns listening to each other
• I. Require that all respect the feelings of others
• J. Choose a tarot spread related to the situation and set out the cards.

• III. Discussion
  • A. Listen

  • 1. Adopt a listening mudra and position
  • 2. Develop empathy.
  • 3. Treat the session as an act of magic.
  • 4. Read body language
  • 5. Use your intuition and other abilities

  B. Let them know you are listening

• 1. Offer small encouragements as you listen.
• 2. Paraphrase what has been said.
• 3. Summarize what you heard.

• C . Ask questions


1. Ask questions only to clarify situations.
2. Avoid yes/no questions.
3. Do not insist on answers.
4. Let the client guide him or herself to solutions.
5. Follow the client’s lead.

• D. Define the problem

  • 1. Identify triggers to situations.
    2. Work toward eliminating triggers and responses
• 3. Have the couple work toward common goals as a team.

Some Specific problems related to couples

• A. Blaming and complaining

• 1. Blaming the other

• suggesting that the partner cannot change
• inaccurate or innapropriate statements

 

• 2. Blaming the self

• B. Double binding

• 1. Creation of a double bind:
  a statement or request is designed to produce a wrong response
  the receiver is not allowed to question or comment on the request
  the receiver cannot change the subject or stop interaction
• 2. Undoing double binding involves
  looking for triggers
  identifying the overall pattern

• C. Fusion
  The couple is too close to each other for self examination

• D. Sexual dysfunction

• 1. Lack of interest
• 2. Lack of stimulation
• 3. Change of sexual identity

 

• A. Rules

• 1. both must agree to speak only in turn
• 2. both must agree to listen without comment when not in turn
• 3. both must have a desire to find a solution
• 4. Each will have a turn to speak

• B. Process

• 1. Identify the problem
• 2. Describe each point of view
• 3. Describe each other’s point of view
• 4. Identify the emotional underpinnings of each
• 5. Seek common ground
• 6. Seek a solution, however small

• Use of the Wiccan Rede (“As it harm none, do as you will.”)

• cause no harm to your friend
• cause no harm to yourself
• cause no harm to others

• Use of the Five Elements

• East (air) - Sincerity
• goal for the advisor: openness and acceptance of the person
• goal for the discussion: help your friend see the situation clearly
  
  South (fire) - Subjectivity
  goal for the advisor: to be able to perceive true feelings through words, actions, impressions
  goal for the discussion: help your friend get in touch with true
  feelings
  
  West (water) - Soulfulness
  goal for the advisor: be true to yourself and your friend
  goal for the discussion: encourage self-exploration to find the root
  cause of the problem
  
  North (earth) - Supportiveness
  goal for the advisor: believe your friend is capable of finding
  solutions
  goal for the discussion: confirm that you are interested in helping
  
  Center (spirit) - Silence
  goal for the advisor: keep confidentiality within the limits of the
  Rede
  goal for the discussion: listen silently with intent and confirmation

• The Five S’s
  
  • Sincerity - define the situation clearly
  • Subjectivity - examine and explain your understanding of the situation
  • Soulfulness - maintaining the session as a spiritual act
  • Supportiveness - providing a balanced amount of support and guidance
  • Silence - maintaining confidentiality without causing possible harm

Basic Techniques

• What is a ritual?
  a ceremony that denotes sacredness or specialness
• What is the function of ritual?
  to cause changes in consciousness for a particular purpose

Prerequisites of ritual

• know your tools and symbols - must be attached to personal meaning
• define your theological understanding
• know your purpose and intent
• know your mind
• make proper preparations
• elements of a good ritual
• entry into magickal consciousness
• raising of energy
• limited focusing of energy

steps for enacting a good ritual

• opening
• create a sacred space
• consecrate and clear space
• invoke deities, quarters, layers
• clear and focused statement of intent
• work
• apply mind, body, heart, and soul to intent
• direct and send energy
• determine sacrifice - what will you give up or do in return?
• closing
• undo all that was created in opening
• provide a means for social engagement

Techniques of Theater

• Practice
• Relax
• Be yourself
• Get into your character
• Keep the audience’s attention
• Be spontaneous
• Move larger than life
• Speak slowly and strongly
• Maintain your principles and ethics

Music and Dance Techniques for Ritual

• Purposes of music and dance in ritual

• direct connection to emotion
• connecting directly with the body
• raising energy
• creating a particular mood
• creates a sense of unity and community

• Learn several useful chants

• should be simple
• should be easy to learn and teach
• memorize them yourself first
• be able to sing accurately or have someone else do the music
• can also be played on instruments

• methods of teaching chants and dance

• lining out
• sing or chant small parts of the music or words and have them repeated back
• line out the words in rhythm first
• then line out the melody with the words
• add dance steps, if used

• learn some basic dance steps used in circle dances

• circle around
• side step
• cross step
• forward step
• twirl

 

Stages of Group Development

Courting - people gather together informally and decide to form a group
Danger: though many talk about ideas, few are willing to act upon them
Goal: push to commit to ideas, initiate a meeting to begin the process

Commitment - the people decide to meet regularly and decide on a format
Danger: lack of focus of energy
Goal: determine principles and goals early, remain focused on goals, determine steps and procedures to commit to forming a group

Marriage - the group is formed and regular meetings begin
Danger: superficial bonding develops
Goal: encourage people to share feelings, keep meetings flexible and open

Honeymoon - initial excitement carries through several meetings
Danger: look for signs of next stage of development
Goal: keep energy high as long as possible but beware of developing power grabs

Disillusionment - power struggles develop
Danger: people begin to try and convince others of their way of doing things rather than focusing on group goals
Goal: remind people why the group was originally formed, promote discussions about health and growth of the group.

Forming A Partnership - power issues are resolved and a period of stability is created
Danger: some may have pretended to resolve their feelings for the group’s sake
Goal: continue to promote group and private discussions

Working Relationship - the group learns to work together and maintain itself
Danger: though a stable time, the group may revert to a previous stage
Goal: constantly be aware of changing group dynamics

Divorce - members leave the group and the balance is upset
Danger: the loss of members may cause hurt feelings
Goal: use the energy of new members to constantly renew and refresh the group

Reasons For Conflict

Power struggles

Mis-communication
Misunderstanding about roles and purpose
Different goals or values
People getting different information or perceptions
People processing information differently
Balance of autonomy versus Interdependence
Confusion about the structure

Conflict can be Positive or Negative

Positive:
Increased problem awareness
Increased self- and other awareness
Increased exchange of information and knowledge
Improved decision processes
Increased innovativeness and creativity
Enhanced motivation and morale
Decreased tensions
Enhanced psychological maturity

Negative:
Increased stress and burnout
Reduced organizational performance
Reduced morale and job satisfaction
Reduced loyalty to organization
Waste of resources and time

Dealing With Conflict

* Once a conflict begins, be determined to resolve it as soon as possible
* Gather together all those involved
* Meet in a peaceful and appropriate setting
* Let all involved be able to speak their feelings and be heard in turn
* Discourage the use of blame and derision
* Encourage active listening without emotional reaction
* Try to find the emotional root of the feelings
* Try to find a way to incorporate individual needs with group goals
* Encourage compromise for the sake of the group
* End the session with a resolution or accomplishment no matter how small
* End the session as upbeat and hopeful as possible

Agree on goals and guidelines
determine that both groups want to find a resolution and why
six rules
agree to solve the problem
be honest
no blaming or put downs
talk one at a time
no interruptions
each side states initial positions
each side restates the other’s position in own words
each side states feelings
find points of consensus and find an agreement
set a plan of action and follow up

Steps to Starting A Group

Define a purpose for the group
Assemble a small group of interested people
Have an initial meeting
determine meeting times and places
where? when? meeting length? size? composition?
determine format
how will the purpose be served?
how will fair and even communication take place?
how will people be encouraged to participate?
how will people be encouraged to form community?
determine procedures
how will decisions be made?
how will all be represented?
how will time limits be met?
how will the agenda be met?
how will decisions be made?
what roles will be needed and filled?
determine tasks and who will do them
plan first activity
provide a format for assessing the meeting of the purpose
advertise the first meeting
Techniques for Promoting Discussion
Be aware of all participants
Look for signals
Be aware and use non-verbal gestures
Deflect questions instead of giving answers
Give support and value all answers given
Aid and restructure those who are struggling to answer
Switch attention to new topics or directions for discussion
Keep questions short and simple

Planning a group - Practical Considerations

What is the purpose of the group?
What are the specific goals of the group?
What type of group will this be?
What theory will guide the group?
What specific techniques and strategies will be used?
Can I develop a session-by-session plan?
To what degree will sessions be structured?
How will I market the group?
What will be the cost of the group?
Where will the group meet?
What materials I need?
What will be the duration and frequency of meetings?
How many people will participate in the group?
Will the group be open and closed?
How often will the group meet?
What will be the group expectations? How will these be conveyed?
What problems can I expect to run into, and how will I deal with those?
How will I assess the effectiveness?

Class Format

light candle of intent
opening circle and chant
individual check-in
how is everyone doing?
how can we help?
spiritual check-in (advanced classes)
how is your practice going?
introduction
review last week’s topic
announce new topic
welcome newcomers
new topic
questions for discussion
new information
activity
time for final questions and comments
closing circle and chant
extinguish candle of intent

Coven Format

informal gathering
opening circle
check-in
discuss purpose of work to be done
decide when and where next to meet
magick work
close

Ways in Which Groups are Helpful

imparting information
announcements
concerns about other members
provide continuity
group rituals (opening, closing)
providing support
the check in
the spiritual check in
providing acceptance
nurturing
communal aid
discussion
learning
chances for taking risks
providing positive role models
of individuals
of groups and societies
promoting personal and interpersonal growth

Public Speaking

1) Prepare, prepare, prepare

2) Dress conservatively

3) Tone down jewelry

4) Do grounding/centering
1. Do privately
2. Wear calming talisman

5) Keep topic simple

A) basics first
B) don’t initiate controversial topic
C) if controversial topic comes up, answer honestly
D) answer questions sincerely
E) focus on commanalities
F) stay on topic

6) don’t use buzzwords

7) Deal with antagonists
A) address the person directly and calmly
B) if you cannot calm the person, move on
C) Maintain control
D) if you cannot maintain control, ask the person to leave

8) You will be quoted out of context

9) Observe courtesy
A) confirm
B) follow up
C) give thanks where appropriate

10) Plan to stay after the event

Speaking to the Media

Reporters want a good story
helping or hurting is not the intention
Stay in control
An interview is a chance to present your viewpoint
keep focused on the topic
Have a specific agenda and a proiritized list of talking points
no more than three points
say what you have to say effectively and nothing else
be short, concise, and to the point
think in terms of sound bytes
Questions are meant to make the story interesting
keep answers to the point
determine the premise of the question
can decline a question, but carefully
can recast a question
Don’t let reporters put words in your mouth
they may try to force a choice on you - refuse it
may be hypothetical - don’t speculate
People most remember body language, appearance and tone of voice
remain steady
lean slightly forward or stand with one shoulder slightly forward
smile
make your voice dynamic
Never do surprise interviews